re·solve to love!

February 14, 2013

Happy hearts and flowers day! Sean and I don't celebrate (more on that later), so this won't be your typical fluffy, mushy Valentine's post, but bear with me. I hope you will understand where we are coming from and the bigger picture.

Sean and I started dating on February 23, 2005. That being said, we found it a much more appropriate occasion to celebrate our relationship. I still like to do nice things, so inevitably I will still get him a card and maybe bake some goodies, and he will inevitably roll his eyes and say "I thought we didn't celebrate!"

Let me tell you a story that will likely step on some toes (sorry, ladies!): Sean purchased his car on Valentine's Day of 2009. While at the dealership, I noticed one of the male employees had a vase of flowers on his desk. I made some playful "aww, somebody loves you" comment (knowing he likely bought them to take home that night), to which he cynically responded "this is just so I don't get killed tonight!"

Is this really how you want your significant other to feel? Credit: someecards

I decided immediately that Sean would NEVER be in a position to talk about me behind my back in such away, even if it meant I never received another flower from him in my entire lifetime. Sadly, I know a lot of couples are in this position when V-day hits each year. Hopefully many grow out of it post-high school, but some never do. These are the people who will never believe me when I say I'd rather get flowers from the grocery store on a random Monday because he saw them and thought of me versus him shipping some over-priced bouquet to my office just because he feels it will keep him out of trouble.
That being said, I'm not anti-Valentine's Day. I'm happily married, so I'm clearly not anti-love. I truly believe we should all be loving one another every day. If we're constantly bickering and not supporting each other, what good is a dozen roses on a commercial holiday?

Sound familiar? Trust me, nice gestures are way more enjoyable when it's their idea. Credit: someecards

I hope you agree with me. If you don't, I hope I've at least provoked you to think for a minute. Some will think my message is cliche, but in a society of broken relationships, we could all do to re·solve to love on a regular basis, instead of just expecting things of each other when the retailers say so.

Yes, I have a card for Sean today, and yes, he will have bought nothing, and roll his eyes at me yet again, and I won't be offended or hurt. We won't celebrate with gifts (though we will on the 23rd!), but we will both know we are loved.

Today and everyday, we can do many things that in the long run will come to be quite meaningful:

  • Take over one/some of his/her chores for the day/week
  • Organize an area of his/hers that is used often (all those unmatched socks? yeah...)
  • Actually stop and listen at the end of the day
  • Make a meal you know he/she will love
  • Or, just have a special snack/dessert at home
  • Be watching and complement him/her- be specific
  • Brag on them (I recently won a local Valentine's Day contest just by gushing on how awesome Sean is - I think publically sharing why he is so great says WAY more than some chocolate.)
  • Go a day without asking him/her for/to do anything
  • Learn and understand his/her love language 
  • Never stop holding hands and saying "I Love You!"
  • If you find yourself disappointed by today, just remember:
Credit: someecards

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